Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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