Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize