i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
