Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You smell like stripper and shame
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth