Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth

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  (407): I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth http://tfl.nu/po8w
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

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  (574): how does Santa get into Hogwarts? http://tfl.nu/z515
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...

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  (732): I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste... http://tfl.nu/n6mj
  Replies (12) Good night (3555) Bad night (554)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.

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  (503): we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass. http://tfl.nu/xi9h
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  (631): View more from New York

  Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack

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  (631): Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack http://tfl.nu/plmg
  Replies (10) Good night (948) Bad night (3879) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone

  (1-562): View more from California

  there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue

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  (562): sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone (1-562): there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue http://tfl.nu/8olm
  Replies (9) Good night (795) Bad night (2388)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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  (847): Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins. http://tfl.nu/vi8m
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  (406): View more from Montana

  you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"

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  (406): you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College" http://tfl.nu/x9bo
  Replies (13) Good night (3785) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's like the whiskey god was watching over you

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  (949): I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id. (702): It's like the whiskey god was watching over you http://tfl.nu/wgp4
  Replies (7) Good night (3181) Bad night (489)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

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  (775): Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear? http://tfl.nu/c8pp
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.

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  (847): Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans. http://tfl.nu/m2u5
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.

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  (310): I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover. http://tfl.nu/1zuj
  Replies (4) Good night (1205) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.

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  (503): there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose. http://tfl.nu/3zcu
  Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.

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  (902): Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring. http://tfl.nu/d21p
  Replies (4) Good night (288) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.

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  (702): I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up. http://tfl.nu/wodb
  Replies (2) Good night (838) Bad night (119) Order T-Shirt

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