RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.