you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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