I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
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okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name