Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.

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  (323): Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch. http://tfl.nu/9pbk
  Replies (29) Good night (2068) Bad night (667)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...

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  (713): I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way... http://tfl.nu/0604
  Replies (12) Good night (874) Bad night (1502)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

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  (206): got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache http://tfl.nu/qh4z
  Replies (23) Good night (4574) Bad night (1296)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down

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  (940): never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down http://tfl.nu/bj4x
  Replies (48) Good night (5325) Bad night (1159)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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  (519): Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit. (416): Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?! http://tfl.nu/iavy
  Replies (39) Good night (10609) Bad night (1408)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.

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  (513): So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations. http://tfl.nu/znj0
  Replies (19) Good night (6044) Bad night (1065)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons

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  (970): I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons http://tfl.nu/vc4y
  Replies (10) Good night (1364) Bad night (2314)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...

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  (512): Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation... http://tfl.nu/vkji
  Replies (3) Good night (2530) Bad night (1559)
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  (909): View more from California

  Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.

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  (909): Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge. http://tfl.nu/2a01
  Replies (5) Good night (1868) Bad night (718)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.

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  (519): That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked. http://tfl.nu/ff8s
  Replies (9) Good night (767) Bad night (2581)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year

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  (267): he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year http://tfl.nu/s0i5
  Replies (2) Good night (1246) Bad night (554)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.

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  (903): I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper. http://tfl.nu/88zt
  Replies (7) Good night (1612) Bad night (579)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"

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  (609): he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you" http://tfl.nu/enmx
  Replies (11) Good night (486) Bad night (840)
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  (562): View more from California

  Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.

  (562): View more from California

  I love my job.

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  (562): Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night. (562): I love my job. http://tfl.nu/bsab
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (327)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.

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  (503): Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown. http://tfl.nu/yshu
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (251)

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