dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
