College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
only if we run a train.
done.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
