I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
