Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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