sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
