i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
