I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
