At least make sure they are 18
Why
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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