How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
