he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
