whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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