I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize