im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
