I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize