I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
