i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
