I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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