The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
