We're facebook friends in real life
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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