she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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