I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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