We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
