I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize