I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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