i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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