Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
