i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize