just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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