We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just invented taco cereal.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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