wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
tell me about the eggs
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