wat bout pragnant strippers??
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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