sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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