my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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