thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
