i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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