Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
