You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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