so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize