I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
