I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
