its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
