So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
