He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
