too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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