So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
