white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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