If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
