big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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