long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.