Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(713): View more from Texas

My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(713): My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs. http://tfl.nu/vmqk

Replies (34) Good night (3267) Bad night (779)
Favorite
(509): View more from Washington

why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(509): why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings? http://tfl.nu/epiw

Replies (9) Good night (1071) Bad night (3273)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications http://tfl.nu/d1qr

Replies (21) Good night (7396) Bad night (727)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later http://tfl.nu/u7bo

Replies (24) Good night (6218) Bad night (853)
Favorite
(+49): View more from Germany

They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+49): They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany! http://tfl.nu/9nli

Replies (14) Good night (6687) Bad night (1100)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong http://tfl.nu/wuam

Replies (3) Good night (2403) Bad night (1053)
Favorite
(585): View more from New York

they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too http://tfl.nu/0m73

Replies (6) Good night (3359) Bad night (798)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here http://tfl.nu/edol

Replies (6) Good night (1950) Bad night (1765)
Favorite
(916): View more from California

I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(916): I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it. http://tfl.nu/ir5l

Replies (4) Good night (1246) Bad night (517)
Favorite
(719): View more from Colorado

If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(719): If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message http://tfl.nu/usun

Replies (1) Good night (1257) Bad night (363)
Favorite
(989): View more from Michigan

This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(989): This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor. http://tfl.nu/gqo3

Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (983)
Favorite
(298): View more from

The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.

(208): View more from Idaho

You're the only meteorologist I listen to.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(298): The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations. (208): You're the only meteorologist I listen to. http://tfl.nu/2k8s

Replies (3) Good night (1932) Bad night (369)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised. http://tfl.nu/pjx8

Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (335)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame http://tfl.nu/x5yp

Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (285)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk. http://tfl.nu/7e65

Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (256)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: