Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book

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(310): View more from California

Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..

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(937): View more from Ohio

Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job

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(360): View more from Washington

Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.

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(646): View more from New York

People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.

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(805): View more from California

I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift

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(415): View more from California

Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine

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