Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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