Texts From Last Night

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  (831): View more from California

  yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd

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  (831): yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd http://tfl.nu/hhxw
  Replies (69) Good night (631) Bad night (4245)
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  (925): View more from California

  Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless

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  (925): Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless http://tfl.nu/dgln
  Replies (23) Good night (3365) Bad night (825)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad

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  (201): he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad http://tfl.nu/jzas
  Replies (40) Good night (755) Bad night (4298)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.

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  (319): I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/bot7
  Replies (9) Good night (3297) Bad night (607)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.

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  (480): I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen. http://tfl.nu/7g0m
  Replies (51) Good night (9436) Bad night (795)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...

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  (859): This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk... http://tfl.nu/39pj
  Replies (8) Good night (1714) Bad night (698)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.

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  (512): We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots. http://tfl.nu/ta1s
  Replies (10) Good night (1296) Bad night (1751)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying

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  (717): best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying http://tfl.nu/r0td
  Replies (15) Good night (722) Bad night (2167)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.

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  (352): Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman. http://tfl.nu/vqgs
  Replies (13) Good night (2764) Bad night (692)
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  (+65): View more from

  Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.

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  (+65): Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences. http://tfl.nu/3qzr
  Replies (1) Good night (1343) Bad night (428)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..

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  (443): No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man.. http://tfl.nu/sort
  Replies (7) Good night (746) Bad night (1560)
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  (+46): View more from Sweden

  Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving

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  (+46): Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving http://tfl.nu/pqr1
  Replies (3) Good night (1189) Bad night (412)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.

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  (520): You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee. http://tfl.nu/cxay
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (915)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.

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  (813): The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room. http://tfl.nu/fw34
  Replies (19) Good night (400) Bad night (873)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.

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  (314): Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer. http://tfl.nu/va6e
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (263)

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