Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!

  (408): View more from California

  Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner! (408): Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland... http://tfl.nu/1sp2
  Replies (41) Good night (3406) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Responsible fail?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior? (773): Responsible fail? http://tfl.nu/nxhx
  Replies (19) Good night (1437) Bad night (5416)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang". http://tfl.nu/9dw0
  Replies (68) Good night (25804) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed. http://tfl.nu/54wn
  Replies (64) Good night (7778) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk. http://tfl.nu/afjb
  Replies (23) Good night (5615) Bad night (1647)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask. http://tfl.nu/in4y
  Replies (14) Good night (4656) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge. http://tfl.nu/2a01
  Replies (5) Good night (1757) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that http://tfl.nu/3z2y
  Replies (14) Good night (679) Bad night (2080)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Don't answer that. It is bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (226): Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice? (226): Don't answer that. It is bad. http://tfl.nu/e65p
  Replies (5) Good night (1217) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon (310): Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/u7vm
  Replies (6) Good night (2112) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband. http://tfl.nu/u4p0
  Replies (3) Good night (3195) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang http://tfl.nu/jrxr
  Replies (2) Good night (1014) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears. http://tfl.nu/ndjg
  Replies (5) Good night (1359) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks. http://tfl.nu/96bx
  Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus. http://tfl.nu/v0t7
  Replies (6) Good night (484) Bad night (341)

Randomize