I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Randomize
