we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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