Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
third nipple confirmed
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder