Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off? http://tfl.nu/hp8b
  Replies (19) Good night (709) Bad night (4083)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone http://tfl.nu/mp6q
  Replies (9) Good night (792) Bad night (3595)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): Can you put "designated driver" on a resume? http://tfl.nu/qu7s
  Replies (8) Good night (4628) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW! http://tfl.nu/gdwn
  Replies (6) Good night (889) Bad night (5471)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6711) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF? http://tfl.nu/tx7k
  Replies (14) Good night (5993) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester http://tfl.nu/cozs
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (2650)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher. http://tfl.nu/9rva
  Replies (9) Good night (4828) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window http://tfl.nu/rkda
  Replies (10) Good night (3181) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses! http://tfl.nu/cuv6
  Replies (9) Good night (2457) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head. http://tfl.nu/1su5
  Replies (2) Good night (1066) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style. http://tfl.nu/0udf
  Replies (6) Good night (2217) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am http://tfl.nu/dm8p
  Replies (9) Good night (2296) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to. http://tfl.nu/rk2y
  Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (1420)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (226): I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats http://tfl.nu/76ap
  Replies (0) Good night (591) Bad night (354)

Randomize