In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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