The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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