so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
