just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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