i don't like sucking hair
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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