Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
