brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Randomize
