i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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