I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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