is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
