haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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