STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
